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| The Snyder Sisters |
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| Circa 1967…she would probably scream at me for putting this one on the blog but it made me smile. |
As she was eight years older than me, by the time I was born Pam had already dealt with losing the status of “only child” when my sister Patti was born – she welcomed me with open arms. My mom says from day one, Pam said I was “her baby”. When I was growing up, many of my life lessons were taught to me by my two older sisters – more often than not, the practical lessons came from Patti and the mischievous “how to get away with things” lessons came from Pam. For some reason, I could never do anything wrong in Pam’s eyes – she loved animals and, quite possibly, I was the first of her many pets she adored throughout her life. She left for college when I was just nine and beyond a few summers home from college, we never lived in the same town again. But every summer, I would spend at least a week with Pam wherever she lived…those are some of my best memories from my childhood.
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| The ONLY “selfie” I have EVER taken was quite appropriately with Pam…in San Diego last May at my son’s college graduation. |
Throughout our busy lives, we always made time to get together a couple of times of year for girls’ trips. These are also some of my best memories of my life. I could always count on Pam to find the best restaurants, know ahead of time the best thing on the menu to order (she always did the research) and, finally, to know the life story of the waiter/waitress by the time coffee was served. We ate, shopped and talked non-stop – neither of us ever wanted those trips to end.
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| Carolina girls…Pam and Ashley at her UNC graduation |
Pam’s proudest accomplishment was her daughter, Ashley. From the moment Ashley was born when I was just nineteen, I have loved her as if she was my own child. As I watched Ashley (now 33 and with a wonderful husband) handle life’s most difficult moments over the past two and a half weeks with grace, compassion and love, I love her more than ever and was the most proud I have ever been of Pam for raising such an amazing daughter.
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| All of us “girls” a few years back… |
Pam always held my hand when we crossed the street and we joked that she still grabbed for it when I was 30. I am so sad and I will miss her every day of my life, but I am grateful that I was able to hold her hand for the last two weeks of her life.
I love you, Pam.
Oh Sandy… what a beautiful tribute to your older sister. You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful family. My heart breaks for you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers
It breaks my heart, Sandy, to read your beautiful tribute to your sister, Pam. Your deep feeling of love for her and your lovely family , is at the same time, heart warming. Your amazing family unity is indeed remarkable. I sense the thread of strength your mom continues to weave through each of you. She is amazingly strong, even at disastrous times like this. I love and admire each of you so much. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for sharing, Sandy.
Bettyann
I truly wish I could give you a huge hug my friend… so very sorry for your loss. What you wrote is very touching and I can feel your love for Pam and your family thru your words…. Praying for your comfort dear, and truly, you are right, Pam died for sure knowing, how much she was and will always be loved. And I think, for anyone, that is the best gift of all.. P.S. I made our booking for NY and CT for my family, we will be visiting some old friends over there and watching some of the shows there, I know next time, I will contact you again for any needs we may have, 🙂
Sandy, our hearts are breaking for you and we can't even imagine how sad these past few weeks have been for you. Thank you for sharing your memories of Pam with us – what an amazing sister she was to you and how blessed you all must have felt to her in your lives. Please know that you are in our hearts and prayers.
xxoo
C + C
Dearest Sandy, I never received your posting in my email this morning or I would have rushed over immediately. I saw this post from Instagram. I am so sorry for this unfortunate loss. It's never easy to understand, never. I pray that your journey of remembrance will shape you even more beautiful than you already are. Peace to you.
Such a beautiful tribute.
I wish I had met Pam. I'm sure I would have felt connected with her from the first second just like I did with you Sandy, and with your whole family, including that great spouse of yours. This incredible tribute is like a gift you're giving to all of us, when we wish with all our hearts we could give more to you. More comfort and sympathy, more understanding of what you are now going through. Thinking of you so much.
I am so sorry for your loss.
What a lovely tribute to your sister who was a beautiful woman, inside and out.
Sandy, my heart goes out to you – for without love there is no grief. Losing our loved ones is far harder than loving them. I wish it was easier.
Oh Sandy, this was so beautiful. What a special tribute to an obviously incredibly special person. I am just so sorry for you and your entire family. Such a devastating and sudden tragedy. I hope Pam is resting peacefully in heaven and I am sure she is looking out for you and watching over you even right this minute. She sounded like such a nurturer…..a person who devoted her life to helping others is one to be greatly admired.
I love what you said about how she always held your hand, even as you were an adult that is so sweet and poignant. I have no doubt that she will always be with you in spirit watching over you and taking care of you even from afar.
Hope the memories you have together will help to comfort you during this unimaginably difficult time. Sending a big hug to you 🙂
Sandy dear, I commented on IG about your post but wanted to stop by here and acknowledge this most beautiful tribute to your wonderful sister. It is such a gift to share a close relationship with someone like you have had with your sister for all these years. I know that can make the grief even more painful. You truly capture her essence and the beauty of your sisterhood. The part about holding her hand had tears streaming down my face. It resonates with me as that is exactly what I did with my dad-during the holidays 2008–with only 19 days from diagnosis with metastatic cancer until he passed. I only share this because I know the bedside vigil, the hopelessness and yet the most tender care that you speak of. Holding hands is a powerful symbol and I can only imagine your sister was so comforted by your presence and care. She was lucky to have YOU, just as you were lucky to have her. I hope that those sparkling memories will bring comfort and a smile. It seems that perhaps that is already happening for you. Thinking of you with love and care during this sad time. I will continue to pray for your strength, peace and healing as you look towards the upcoming memorial and celebration of a most beautiful life.
With love and hugs, Heather
Dear Sandy,
Not a day has passed in the past few weeks, that I haven't thought of you and your sister. To now put a name, a face and a life story behind that makes it real and raw. I know that Pam would have adored this post and knowing, as I'm sure she did, what an impact and difference she made in your life. May each day that passes bring you memories of all the happy times, fun trips and knowledge that she's still holding your hand.
love, Elizabeth
Dear Sandy, it took me a few days to finally wander over to read your beautiful words about your sister. But you've been in my heart and on my mind every day since I learned of her accident. There really are no words for how sorry I am and how much my heart breaks for you. I'm glad that I got to know her just a bit here through your words and what she meant to you. I'm glad you had her hand to hold all these years, and believe very deeply that she is holding on to you still.
With much love,
Jeanne
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman, inside and out. You are blessed to have a wonderful family and such a supporting and loving husband. Sending you prayers and xo…